A couple of weeks ago I went back to Bogota for a vacation. I went without Oscar, but so much of my trip reminded me of our old routines there. It was comforting to have everything feel so familiar. I reflected a lot on my time there and found this old journal entry dated almost a year ago to the date:
4/16/14. Trips to the airport come with different memories. Today’s will include the following:
Tears falling down my face as I looked around the International Terminal in Bogota and said good-bye to Robinson. It’s weird. He’s coming to visit Oscar and me in DC in a month, yet we had a really hard time saying good-bye. I think it’s because we both know that I’m not really coming back to Bogota and we are both on our ways to transitioning to the next chapter. This can and should be a really great thing, but this time in particular it is marked with such uncertainty and transition that it makes it hard to know what’s next and as a result, say good-bye.
Oscar was a good boy throughout the entire process.
As I write this, I’m at the ATL airport. Oscar is sleeping in his little pet carry case by my feet as I scarf down two beers from Villa Pizza. Everyone around me looks like they know where they’re going or are traveling with purpose. I, on the other hand, feel lost. What I wouldn’t give to book a ticket to certainty.
I brought Oscar to the pet rest area at the airport. He was not excited about getting back into his travel carrier. I apologized to him. It must be hard for a dog to belong to a seeker. When my path leads me somewhere, his path must change too. I can’t thank him enough for not judging me, for putting up with a day stuffed into a doggie travel carrier and put under airplane seats. In the end, I know he doesn’t care as long as he’s with me. I hope someday I will be as full of faith as he is and be able to remember what’s really important in life.